Vanderpump Guidelines star Scheana Shay needs to do issues otherwise this time round. Season 11 of the Bravo actuality TV hit is in full swing, and after ten years of drama, heartbreak, and naturally, “Scandoval,” the 38-year-old California native simply needs to concentrate on being a mother to two-year-old Summer season Moon, making new music, and sustaining her psychological well being after an OCD analysis.
Shay opened as much as Scary Mommy over Zoom to speak about how issues are going for her in a post-Scandoval world plus what’s in retailer for the yr to come back, together with a extra weak glimpse into her life she could not have all the time proven on digicam.
Some individuals could also be fast to evaluate Shay (you title it, she’s been referred to as it), however past the glam and legacy run on a present that has turn out to be considerably of a TV juggernaut, she’s only a mother attempting to do the perfect she will be able to.
Once I sit down to talk with Shay, she’s speeding in from one other look throughout her go to to New York, joking that she was nonetheless in her slippers moments in the past.
“Site visitors and dwell TV don’t go nicely collectively,” she says.
As we chat concerning the new season of VPR that simply premiered, she says the jury remains to be out on how she’s feeling. “You already know, just one episode in. We nonetheless have a protracted interval forward, so ask me once more later,” she says with fun.
Regardless of just one episode on the books on the time of the interview, Shay has already proven a extra open and sincere portrayal of her life and struggles with postpartum psychological well being.
“I’m excited that this season you’re going to get to see extra of the postpartum journey. You did not actually get to see that season 9 or ten. I felt like there have been so many issues I used to be going by then that you just did not see and now are lastly being talked about,” she says, admitting that she hid loads about her motherhood journey at first.
She provides: “Postpartum OCD is usually misdiagnosed for postpartum melancholy, and it is also not all the time identified instantly. So the primary yr, I did not know what was fallacious with me. It took me over a yr to even confide in my therapist.”
Shay needs different mothers to know that it’s okay to be sincere about how they’re doing and that there are sources obtainable to assist address postpartum struggles like OCD. For Shay, she turned to remedy and Eye Motion Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) remedy to assist address ruminations and intrusive ideas.
“Open up about it with somebody you’re feeling protected with, whether or not that is a mother, a good friend, a therapist. I’ve performed in depth EMDR remedy over the previous yr. That has been unbelievable on this journey,” she admits earlier than sharing some intrusive ideas she’s skilled previously.
“I am like, persons are going to assume I am loopy. I am not wanting to throw my little one off a balcony, but when I am standing exterior along with her, I am like, ‘Oh my God, what if she jumped out of my arms?’”
Shay offers one other instance of how layered postpartum OCD could be, together with the difficult strategy of talking out concerning the psychological dysfunction. The Scheananigans podcast host swears she is aware of precisely how that concern of judgment can really feel.
She recollects, “Generally once you do say issues out loud, then it is like, ‘Am I manifesting that? Like I do not need to say this out loud, after which I do not need to jinx it. There’s so many layers of why girls do not open up about stuff like this.”
Fortunately for Shay, she has stable individuals in her life she will be able to lean on throughout these darker moments, together with fellow VPR solid member, Lala Kent. Regardless of ups and downs in earlier seasons, Shay and Kent have by no means been nearer — actually. The 2 mothers have neighboring houses in Palm Springs.
“We’re the one two mothers now on the present, and it was like, we will both preserve preventing or we will lean on one another as a result of nobody else can perceive the hormones and milk pumping by our physique that the 2 of us can … and now it is like, we actually share a wall in Palm Springs,” Shay says of Kent who shares her two-year-old daughter, Ocean, with ex-fiance, Randall Emmett.
“Our mothers are greatest associates. Our siblings are associates. It is really easy. We’re rooted now.”
Talking of Kent, Shay admits that her mother BFF was on the high of her checklist when it got here to potential babysitters for Summer season Moon.
“She’s a mother, she is aware of something my child wants,” she says confidently.
Shay retains that agency, assured power after I ask who from the VPR solid she would by no means let watch Summer season Moon. With out hesitation, she replies, “I’d not let the Toms ever watch her. Nope.”
Shay is, after all, talking of controversial solid members Tom Sandoval and his good friend and enterprise companion, Tom Schwartz.
She provides: “I do know Ariana [Madix] and Katie [Maloney] can be nice. James [Kennedy] and Alley [Lewber] can be nice, however yeah, the Toms do not get to babysit my child.”
Shay wed her husband — New Zealand-born health coach, Brock Davies — in 2021 throughout a secret ceremony earlier than tying the knot in entrance of household and associates in an August 2022 wedding ceremony.
For Shay, Davies has been there each step of the way in which, retaining her humble and grounded.
“He’s not my ‘sure’ man. He’ll completely put me in my place. He’ll inform me after I’m fallacious. He’ll give me his opinion. He doesn’t sugarcoat something, and as arduous as it’s, generally I am like, ‘Are you able to simply agree with me?” she jokes.
Nevertheless, the “Good As Gold” singer did trace at some stress between the 2 throughout this upcoming season, sharing that Davies had hassle understanding her OCD.
“He does not have OCD. He does not have these fears and anxieties … and this season was tough for us,” she teases.
One thing completely different this yr for Shay versus different seasons on VPR: she’s not hiding something.
“I additionally was actually happy with myself ‘trigger it was the primary time, I feel, ever on the present, I am not attempting to color a reasonably excellent image,” Shay says.
“And I do not know that I’ve ever actually fought with a big different on the present. I’d save that for after the cameras go down. We discuss that at house, and also you simply preserve your blissful face on. And I am like, ‘That is not relatable. Nobody pertains to an ideal household.’”
Exterior of motherhood, Shay has discovered new life in music. After taking a couple of years off from being within the studio, she finds singing and writing to be one in all her go-tos when she must settle her thoughts.
Once I ask Shay about her music collaborators, the 27s, Shay turns into emotional, working to carry again tears till she ultimately lets go and gushes about her newfound friendship with the music duo.
“It is this new group of associates that I did not know I wanted a lot. Like I might cry … It is actually been so superb to have these guys in my life at a time when … I felt like the whole lot was coming down on me, after which we bought within the studio. We wrote “Apples,” and it was like, ‘You already know what, I can nonetheless do that’,” Shays says, wiping tears from her eyes.
“Like I’ve all the time been like, not assured in singing as a result of I’ve let everybody get to me. And I am like, ‘I’ve enjoyable with this and we’re making good music’ Like all the songs we’re placing out proper now are so enjoyable, and at this level, I do not care what individuals say anymore. I do know the songs we’re making are dope. It is taught my daughter the right way to spell ‘apples’!”
The newfound confidence in her music has translated to different aspects of her life.
Once I ask Shay how she offers with mom-shamers, she rolls her eyes and says, “I attempt to not let it get to me, nevertheless it annoys me … I swear I might save a drowning pet, and it will be like, ‘She simply did that for consideration!’”
“There’s all the time one thing. I am by no means going to win. I’ve totally simply accepted that not everybody’s going to love you, however so long as I like me on the finish of the day, that is OK.”
