Any father or mother of tweens and teenagers will inform you a similar: They will burn by means of some cash. And on this digital day and age, they have an inclination to suppose cash simply magically materializes from skinny air to — poof! — pay for his or her each whim. As a mother to an 11-year-old and a 14-year-old, Sarah Michelle Gellar will get it.
However Gellar can also be conscious about the truth that cash doesn’t, sadly, develop on bushes. Whereas everyone knows (and love) her as a ’90s icon, scream queen, and all-around super-successful multihyphenate, Gellar did not develop up able of privilege like her youngsters are. She was raised by a single mother working “simply above the poverty line.”
Her husband of 21 years, Freddie Prinze Jr., was additionally raised by a single mother. So, for the couple, educating their son Rocky and daughter Charlotte the worth of cash is one thing they prioritized early as mother and father.
Though Gellar arguably hasn’t wanted to fret about cash in fairly a while — along with being a sought-after actor, she can also be an writer and co-founder of natural baking combine firm Foodstirs — it hasn’t modified her emotions about duty on the subject of funds.
In reality, as an alternative of blowing her first huge Buffy paycheck, she saved it. And, even along with her success, she’s identified to clip coupons.
However at this stage of her life, Gellar feels assured in her grip on funds. She’s now turned her consideration to educating her younger teenagers monetary literacy. The actor, who has partnered with Constancy on their new app, Constancy Youth, shared with Scary Mommy how she teaches her children about cash administration and extra.
Scary Mommy: It seems like children as we speak prioritize monetary literacy in a manner earlier generations did not. Do you discover that to be true in your children and their mates?
Sarah Michelle Gellar: Completely. After I was rising up, cash was taboo — you did not discuss it. Possibly you took economics in highschool, however by then, you’d type of formed your opinions on cash.
I believe it is modified a lot as a result of cash is a lot extra within the ether now. It isn’t bodily. So many transactions are on this cellphone or on a tool, they usually do not actually see it. There’s this tendency to suppose it simply retains getting reloaded … you do not perceive and have accountability in your cash and the way you are spending it.
SM: I by no means as soon as considered investing as a teen, however like skincare, I want I would began earlier. How did you first method this convo together with your children?
SMG: We began when [the kids] have been 4 and 5 and getting birthday cash. We had the three jars — the spend, the save, the donate — simply so they may begin to see what it was like to save lots of up for one thing and what it was wish to put cash apart for people who find themselves much less lucky so that you just do have the flexibility to offer again.
Transferring into the teenager years, a whole lot of these conversations began for us as a result of our daughter got here to us and mentioned, “I would like a bank card.” And I used to be like, “No manner,” as a result of, in my head, she’s simply going to maintain spending my cash and do not know what it’s or the place it is coming from. And she or he turned to me, and he or she mentioned, “However Mother, you give me money after I exit, however so many locations are cash-free. I am unable to even spend it. I am unable to get meals; I am unable to pay my justifiable share.” And I assumed, She’s truly proper.
With the Constancy Youth app card, I’ve parental oversight, however she has the possession — and that is the mixture that I believe is most essential.
SM: How do you steadiness educating children concerning the worth of laborious work whereas tempering the expectations we have a tendency to position on cash, i.e., cash solves issues?
SMG: That is an attention-grabbing query. It is like they all the time say when your child involves you and says, “The place do infants come from?” As a substitute of giving the entire story, you say, “Nicely, what do you suppose? What have you learnt?” It’s all the time being open and making an attempt to fulfill them the place they’re, not making it extra difficult than it must be or giving them a lot data that it is overload.
SM: What about monetary privilege? How did you method that?
SMG: We mentioned, “Every part that we have now in our home is as a result of Mother and Dad work laborious, and that is how we pay for these items. There must be an appreciation for the issues that we have now. You are fortunate that if you want new sneakers, we will afford them — we may purchase you new sneakers, however some folks do not have that luxurious.”
Actually, it is simply beginning to have them perceive that cash does not develop on bushes or cash simply does not come on the cellphone.
SM: Nicely, alas, based mostly on the analysis, gender disparity is current even in the best way youngsters view cash and investing. Do you method monetary convos in a different way together with your daughter than your son?
SMG: I used to be shocked by that as a result of we did not in our home. Our youngsters are very completely different, and what’s humorous is our children break the stereotype — my son is the saver and my daughter’s the spender, curiously sufficient.
We discuss desirous to have equal pay, but we’re not having these conversations as a complete. We’re having them extra with the boys than the ladies, thus setting that very same cycle up of anticipating a person to pay for you and deal with you. We have to break that now.
I noticed a few of the statistics about asking, “Are you enthusiastic about monetary independence?” The boys have been keen, and the ladies have been hesitant. How do we alter that? By educating them accountability.
SM: On the subject of gender and cash, you have been married for greater than 20 years. How do you bridge the hole between your kinds when educating your children about cash?
SMG: My husband and I are lucky; we’re just about on the identical web page. He might imagine I spend an excessive amount of on sneakers and luggage, however he does not begrudge it. (laughs) He simply does not essentially get it.
However we’re on the identical web page on the subject of the youngsters as a result of it is about studying, and it is about want versus need. I am going to say, “They actually need this; what do you suppose? Is it one thing we should always have them save up for? Is it one thing we should always buy for them?” And we’ll focus on it and are available to a mutual place earlier than we return to them.
I am very lucky that, 9 out of 10 occasions, we’re on the identical web page.
SM: You have described your loved ones of 4 as very tight-knit. In a world so commodified, how do you retain the worth of time with your loved ones in perspective?
SMG: That is straightforward. Each my husband and I did not have this. We did not have a two-parent sibling family, and so that is simply one thing that we have all the time wished.
We eat the vast majority of our meals collectively. Typically we won’t with the youngsters’ schedules, however then we’ll eat with one, after which when the opposite one comes again, we’ll nonetheless sit down and eat with the opposite one. The opposite day, we had gone to a soccer recreation, and my son had simply eaten a lot on the recreation. So, once we had dinner — it was my mother’s birthday — he mentioned, “I am so not hungry.” I am like, “That is completely nice. You continue to have to take a seat on the desk and have dinner with us, however you’ll be able to have water.” And he mentioned “OK” and got here down.
It’s these issues which can be placing the worth on what’s truly essential.
This interview has been edited for size and readability.